What it’s like to be a Professional Dancer with a Mental Illness
During this entire research period I have been trying to analyse every aspect of my practice and where it comes from. However, there’s one aspect that I have always tried to ignore, partly out of embarrassment, partly out of fear of judgement, and partly because of a feeling that it was not relevant. But it is exceptionally relevant, because the management of it is imperative for me to practice efficiently and to the best of my ability. This ‘aspect’ is that I suffer from depression and anxiety and have done for several years. It sounds almost paradoxical that I can be doing what I have always dreamed of doing (i.e. dancing professionally), yet I can still have depression and feel as if my life is without hope nor purpose. But that is because it is an illness that affects your brain chemistry, not a logical stream of thought following the positive and negative pathways of your life. Moreover, within the dance community, despite positive steps being taken in the last few yea...